I got my review on Tuesday, and this is the first year (in 23) that I wasn't completely perfect.

Of course, I'm not perfect, but I was still upset. I realize they are trying to change their review structure and to work on constant improvement and all that, and logically, its what I really need and even wanted in a review: areas where I can meet my bosses' needs, etc., areas where I can grow, feedback from my boss on areas he considers key, etc.

But emotionally, I was crushed and felt like a failure. It doesn't help that the Ex had contacted his sister by email and told her he had gotten married and had a job.

I contacted the lawyer and she told me that we didn't make provision for him remarrying in the divorce agreement so I still owe him 32K.

Of course, he could be lying too. He does that all the time.

On the upside, I was able to pay my church my yearly tithe in advance, and I've saved $11K toward paying the hubby, so I only owe him $21K, which may be an easier chunk to finance if he demands money right now.

And I have a cold. What a life. I feel like I'm working hard to make him money to live it up and waste, while I'm going without things until I have saved for them.

Arrrrg.

I'm still not credited for additional principal payment of $650 on my mortgage.

I am disguested, but I'm not stopping my fight. This makes me extremely cautious about future prepays on mortgages. I don't think I'll ever trust any mortgage company again. They just suck the money in and say nothing.

They don't answers calls, and they don't answer emails now. What a day!

I've been looking at last year. I realize I have saved $10,500 toward paying off the Ex-Spouse. I have built up my emergency fund to $3,000 and I have almost $l000 in my account to pay the bills that come up on a non-monthly basis (like car insurance, church pledge, christmas, etc.) I also have a CD for $1000, an Ira for $986, and another CD for $686.

I have reduced spending on going out to eat. I have made more home-cooked meals. I have stocked up my refrigerator and freezer and my pantry. I have adopted a one-eyed chihuahua who plans to rule the universe, made a wonderful friend and roomate and lost her, adopted her dog, and got a new roomate.

I realize that I still owe the Ex-Spouse $21K and I have a larger but affordable mortgage. But having saved all that I did, I feel powerful.

I haven't heard from my lawyer with any new demands, so I'm just keeping the money in the bank, where its earning a snippet of interest, and continuing to save. I doubt that I'll be able to save up the remaining 21K in the next year, and I will probably have to finance it through my 401K, but I feel much more serene about everything.

This is the power of frugality. I still have further to go. My goal for 2010 is to write down and put all expenditures on a spread sheet, and to determine what I spent in categories. I'm writing up all expenditures in my check book (I put cash purchases in parens).