I went out and wildly spent money. I got all the groceries I wanted. I purchased 2 belts and a pair of shorts. I purchased a book that I couldn't find at the library. I went to lunch. And i purchased a printer. I really miss having a printer and I now I can print coupons, recipes and articles and maybe I can print out photos.

I also rode my bike and used it to go to get groceries.

I did not stay in budget, but I did not aquire new debt because I do have money for it. I just got tired of saving money to give my ex-husband money while I worked and scrimped.

Now I feel better.

And of course, the printer was on sale and I joined Office Max so now I have a card for them with $40 on it (I assume I can use it to get stuff later).

I know that its all a matter of mental perspective, but I changed my withholdings for my 401K by 1% because the dang thing is sadly depleted. They gave my ex-hubby $89K and I have $114K left and I'd like to actually have an opportunity to retire before I drop dead.

Well - the paycheck came and I don't have enough now for groceries and gasoline the second week of the 2 week period. I know I can put less in the fund to pay the ex hubby, and worse yet, I can get a loan from my poor beaten 401k and just pay him off, but right now I feel like a failure because I didn't forsee them taking an extra 1% out having such an impact.

And then to top it off, I checked my new IRA and they didn't credit the $1000 I laboriously saved to put in for this year.

And I understand from my HR department, that the Ex called to ask for the phone number for the 401K people because he hadn't gotten his check. That just burns - it should be sequestered in another account and he shouldn't get a check, he should at most only be able to roll it into an IRA. He's probably pulling what he did before and cashing it in, like he did with his retirement money, so he could buy things for his girl friend.

Sometimes it seems like I've spent my whole life making sacrifices for that man that just get wasted.

I just passed $13K on my saving fund to pay back ex-hubby, so now I owe him $18K+ (under $19K).

I'm really really trying to track expenses as they occur. I carry my check book and mark down all expenses, including cash in it (while not taking it away from the total).

My emergency fund has hit 5K, which is another goal.

I have a fund at the credit union that I put $400 a month in. This is to take care of extra large utility bills for air conditioning (when desert heat gets over 110 or in the 120 area), yearly memberships, insurance, Christmas, Tax preparation, virus protection/fire wall update, and everything I can think of that I do once a year. That account already has 3K in it, so I'm feeling ready for the summer.

I've started a compost can in the back yard (and can I say Yuck) and want to buy some kind of bin I can use to eventually start a garden (in a dog free area - 4 dogs doesn't make for a good gardening opportunity).