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Aiiiiiiiii - My friends want me to date

April 14th, 2010 at 11:21 pm

My church divorce came through and I am now single in the eyes of God and everybody else.

My friends keep trying to get me to date. How does one do this? Why should I do this? Can't I just make friends with people and hang out? Why am I supposed to be complete with a man. I have just successfully proved my inability to have a healthy relationship with a man, why wade out and do it again?

Where do I apply to become a vestal virgin? Do they accept rehabs?

I know this is not strictly on frugality, but hey, you guys are the only peer group I have except the guys who play World of Warcraft with me and the older people at church.

10 Responses to “Aiiiiiiiii - My friends want me to date”

  1. PauletteGoddard Says:
    1271288553

    Celebrate your freedom by following your passions or finding some new ones. Disregard any pressure your friends may lay on you to date. When your spirit sings and joy shines on your face you'll attract people as friends or something else, depending on sparks and wavelengths. Be comfortable in your own skin and live juicy.

  2. Joan.of.the.Arch Says:
    1271288577

    Ah, everyone knows it takes some recovery and normalization time, even if you might eventually want to date again. Your friends are probably just trying to remind you that you are a great person. You have not proven inability to have a relationship with any man on earth--- maybe just with _that_ one! At any rate, tell those folks that you appreciate the thumbs up, but that you don't care to date now. Or give me their phone number and I'll be your Tell-a-Friend-Take-It-Down-a-Notch service. Big Grin

  3. elisabeth Says:
    1271289179

    Do what makes you happy. Date or don't date. Some people associate dating with going out and making new friends/contacts. If you are not ready just smile and say thanks but not yet. I'll let you know when I am.

  4. Frugaltexan75 Says:
    1271301993

    Do what makes you happy. Take however much time you feel you need to be just you, then when the time is right, you may decide to get out there and date again.

  5. Broken Arrow Says:
    1271333739

    Hehe, I think they mean well even if they don't quite understand what it means to go through something like this.

    Yeah, you want to talk about awkward, my generally prudish mom is trying to play matchmaker on me.

  6. campfrugal Says:
    1271334914

    I say don't date. I believe I was happiest when it was just me. I mean, if you are to be with someone, they will appear in your life and you will know it and then you can go to dinner or whatever. It is too stressful to go dating (IMO). I like the whole group setting, being with a bunch of friends; and then if someone peaks your interest, go for it, but I wouldn't stress out over it. Just be you and do what is comfortable for you. Don't please other people just for the dating sake.

  7. pjmama Says:
    1271354929

    Do what makes you happy. If you dont want to date, then certainly dont! You are absolutely right... you dont need a man in your life to be complete. Follow where your passions take you Smile

  8. baselle Says:
    1271365032

    "Can't I just make friends with people and hang out?"

    Too soon to date. The sentence above would be my plan; it would be silly to do otherwise.
    Since most of your friends are part of a couple, they would be more comfortable if you were part of a couple. Go rogue, instead of going rouge.

  9. miz pat Says:
    1271484043

    Yeah - You guys are absolutely correct. Oh Broken Arrow, that has got to be a major bummer. Thank you - i really needed to hear this

  10. Jerry Says:
    1272053055

    I can only echo the advice from above - do what makes you the happiest at this point! If you are just coming out of a bad relationship situation, it probably isn't the ideal time to lead yourself back into the dating world, anyway. If and when the dating stuff happens, you want to have some insurance that it's because you really wanted it to happen, and not because you didn't want to hurt Peggy Sue's feelings. (Disclaimer: No offense if you actually have a friend or family member named Peggy Sue. That was strictly an example!)
    Jerry

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