Well - I spent this weekend practising thankfulness for what I do have.
I do indeed owe the hubby another 35K and then he's out of my life, no alimony, etc.
I did not expect this, and I'm still upset that the lawyer's office didn't explalin this to me. However, I was saving up before for a worst case scenario.
My last big asset is my 401K, which I can't touch yet because half of it goes to the exhusband.
When I know what I have left in the 401K, I'll try to do most of my financing on that, because at least then I'll be paying myself interest. I may put all or part of my savings and emergency funding into paying him back too. I'm not sure yet. I have to pay the balance of the loan to the 401K back in 5 years.
What I am sure of is that I'm cutting back a lot more. This weekend I took some of the cans in the garage in and got $10.50, which I used to help pay for groceries. I went to the dollar store and found my favorite lemon juice and stocked up. Other than that, everything was from a list. If it wasn't on the list, I didn't buy it. I ate before I went shopping so I wouldn't be tempted to buy anything that looked delicious.
I made big pot of chili from meat in the freezer and cheese rolls. I froze some chili ahead. I spent $50.59 on groceries, $18 of which was the stockup item.
I got a check for $25 from the loan company for the appraisal (apparently I overpaid or they gave me a rebate). I banked it.
I went to the library and took out books. I have a year's membership at the zoo and when the weather in the desert gets down from 109, I'll start spending more time there. I played world of warcraft on line (I pay ahead 6 months on the subscription) where I have more money in gold then I do in real life. Sigh.
I will not be beaten.
Miz Pat
Old Broad Looking for Functioning Brain
September 28th, 2009 at 03:03 pm
September 28th, 2009 at 03:12 pm 1254150767
Of course you won't be beaten! You're doing a fine job of dealing with this financial blow. Sounds to me like your brain is still functioning!
September 28th, 2009 at 03:21 pm 1254151276
September 28th, 2009 at 03:37 pm 1254152244
September 28th, 2009 at 03:39 pm 1254152350
But I found myself not eating, because I felt like I was bad (relates back to a childhood where I didn't always get fed or fed enough). That was a step back.
I'm trying to give this to the Lord and to not take it back
September 28th, 2009 at 03:43 pm 1254152590
September 28th, 2009 at 04:57 pm 1254157029
I like the Corrie Ten Boom thing - she talks about how we as people take our problems to the Lord like taking our suitcases down to the altar with us and lay them before Him, then when we get up to leave, we foolishly take them back home with us!
Good for you realizing that you need to leave the how-tos of this to God!
You're gonna make it Girl!!!! Go YOU!!!
Stay here and keep posting - it'll help you work it all out!
September 28th, 2009 at 06:14 pm 1254161684
Call me cheap and heartless, but if I should be crazy enough to marry again, remind me to roll my 401(k) first!
Also, I'd be very upset too if my lawyer left out a tiny detail that involves $35k as well. That's a lot of money!
Anyways, I know you can do it! If I can, anyone can.
September 28th, 2009 at 09:50 pm 1254174626
Broken Arrow, if you remarry, get a prenuptual saying what you can and cannot share. I'm recommending it to anyone that I know is getting married.
As for me, right now I don't ever want to get married again. Adopt another dog, yes, marriage and going through this stuff, no.
Take care
September 30th, 2009 at 01:16 pm 1254316572
As for pre-nup, believe me, you're preaching to the choir now.